


The Tale of The Glistening Elf

by DragonSilk



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Friend Fiction, Humor, One Shot, POV Second Person, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 00:16:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6681829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonSilk/pseuds/DragonSilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Friend Fiction: The reason why you would never ever tell Isabela about your crush on Fenris.</p><p>[Written for Trollround Fic Trade 2012 on Lunaescence]</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tale of The Glistening Elf

**Author's Note:**

> The reader character was intentionally written ambiguously. "You" can read this as your Hawke if you'd like. :)
> 
> I think Isabela would probably write bad romances about everyone she knows, and then share them with the world!  
> Remember, this is how Isabela shows her love~  
>   
> Enjoy~!

The Hanged Man was as busy as it normally was. There were groups of people around all of the tables in the room, and you could hear snatches of their conversations but never the entire thing over everyone else. It only took a moment for you to see your group. You beelined straight for them and settled into a seat next to Fenris.

“Sorry I'm late.” You glanced around the table. “Where's Isabela?” The pirate was the only one who made playing Wicked Grace fun. Without her it was just Varric taking everyone's money.

Not that you ever played Wicked Grace for fun. No, you played it because it gave you the opportunity to eye a certain tall, broody elf. You often lost a lot of money and paid dearly for that opportunity, but Fenris usually stayed in his 'home' so you took every opportunity to ogle him that you could get.

“Rivani is right over there.” Varric pointed to a corner of the room where Isabela was surrounded by a group of people. “She's reading one of her new stories tonight.”

“Ooooh!” That was exciting. You loved Isabela's tales. “Is it a continuation of 'Sebastian Lays the Lay Sisters'? Because I love that one.”

“I'm right here,” Sebastian muttered.

“I know, that's what makes it fun.” You picked up the hand that Varric dealt you and glanced at your cards. It was a bad hand, but you never seemed to get any good hands when Varric was the dealer.

Varric played the first card. “She hasn't started the tale yet. I think Fenris is going to enjoy it.”

“Shut up.”

Varric just laughed at Fenris' response. You casually studied the elf to your side. He was glaring at the cards in his hand. He was clearly irritated by whatever tale Isabela would be telling tonight, and you wondered why.

Experience told you that asking him wouldn't get you anywhere. So you asked Varric, “Is he going to be featured in the story tonight?” You might have to reconsider playing Wicked Grace if this was true. A tale about Fenris and his lyrium markings would distract you far too much.

“So I've heard.”

“With my luck she's paired me up with the abomination,” Fenris muttered as he threw his card down.

You played your card. “Don't worry Fenris. I'm sure it won't be too bad.”

“And now tonight's tale!” Isabela theatrically announced, completely canceling out any consoling words you might have said and quieting all conversation in the Hanged Man. “Tonight I have a tale about a woman and her love for a lanky, _glistening_ elf.”

You put a hand on Fenris' shoulder. “Well at least it's not Anders.”

He growled. Your words weren't much of a consolation.

“It was early in the day, and our lyrium-infused elf wasn't expecting any of his card playing buddies over for a while. So to pass the time, he took his shirt off and began doing training exercises. His muscles rippled with _every_ motion, and he was soon sweaty and... _glistening._ ” Isabela paused to make sure that everyone was hanging on her every word.

Fenris was squeezing his cards a little too much. You passed him another bottle of wine so that he would have something else to hold. Hopefully he wouldn't break it.

Sebastian tried to join in on the comforting. “At least she doesn't have you desecrating Chantry grounds.”

You snorted at the memory of Sebastian's tale.

Sebastian admonished you, “It wasn't funny.”

“Maybe not to that statue of Andraste.” You couldn't even pretend that Isabela's tales about Sebastian weren't amusing.

“As the elf exercised and glistened with sweat, he didn't realize that he had a visitor. Our heroine was secretly in love with the elf, and she came to his house early so that she could profess her love to him. The sight that was before her rendered her speechless. She could only stare at the long, _taut_ muscles of her favorite elf. The tattoos that lined his entire body stood out against his skin... and he _glistened._ ”

Varric wasn't as distracted by the tale as the rest of you were. “Come on, Broody. It's your turn.”

Fenris played a card. Then it was time for you to play one of your own. You tried to tune Isabela out as she continued her story, but it was difficult to concentrate on your cards. Eventually you just picked a card and tossed it down.

“The girl couldn't stand to just look at the glistening, shirtless elf any longer. 'Take me now!' she cried, and who could deny a lady in such need? The elf picked her up, and carried her over to the table where they sometimes played their weekly card games. He threw her down among the cards.”

“Is she pairing Fenris off with a fictional person now?” you asked nobody in particular. Your eyebrows pulled together as you considered Isabela's tale. “She leaves Merrill out of her tales, and the only other women who play cards with you are me and her. Has Isabela ever put herself in her friend fiction before?”

Clothes were now getting torn off in Isabela's tale. Then she launched into a very detailed description of the elf's burning desire and the woman's heaving bosoms. Her description didn't stick to just the woman's bosoms, and you felt your face begin to heat up.

“That description is starting to sound like you,” Sebastian commented.

Varric was already laughing. “That's because it is her, Choir Boy!”

If your entire body could turn red, it probably would. “I'm going to kill Isabela,” you muttered to yourself.

“Are you that ashamed of being paired up with a former slave?” Fenris sounded angry.

You felt like sticking your foot into your mouth. “No! Not at all!”

“I'd wager she really just wants you to _take her now_ ,” Sebastian teased.

You glared at him. He was going to use this as an opportunity to get back at you for all your teasing about his tale. He was a Chantry brother! He should be above that! You just glared at him as you tried to think of something to say to Fenris. You couldn't just tell him that it was the exact opposite. That you liked the idea of being paired up with him.

As fictional Fenris began to glow and fictional you began achieving _new heights of pleasure,_ you swore that Isabela was doing this just to mess with you. She probably knew exactly how you felt about Fenris.

“How did she figure out I like him?”

You slapped a hand over your mouth. You _really_ had not meant to whine that part out loud. Varric was now pounding the top of the table, he was laughing that hard, and both Sebastian and Fenris were staring at you.

Today was not your day. You tossed your cards down onto the table and stormed out of the Hanged Man.

“You owe me twenty sovereigns!” Varric managed to call out after you despite his raucous laughter.

He could shove his twenty sovereigns. You probably weren't going to play cards with _them_ ever again. Not after that. Maker, were you embarrassed. Maybe if you went down to Darktown Anders could give you some sort of amnesia potion. In the worst case scenario, he would just flirt with you again and that would at least make you feel a little better about yourself.

A hand landed on your shoulder, startling you. It was late so you balled your hand into a fist and swung around to punch whoever it was.

Your hand was caught, and you found yourself staring directly into green eyes. It was Fenris. You wanted to flee, but his hand was still wrapped around your wrist.

The two of you just awkwardly stared at each other. You had no idea why he followed you, and you weren't about to say anything to embarrass yourself. After a long silence Fenris finally released your wrist and held out a lump of fabric. “You forgot your scarf.”

“SERIOUSLY?!” You snatched the scarf. “Isabela writes a story about us having sex, and I basically profess my lusty love for you, and you follow me to return my scarf?! UGH!” You turned away and continued storming in the direction of Darktown. “That's it! I'm asking Anders for a potion to help me forget tonight!”

“No magic!” Fenris grabbed your arm and pulled you back around to face him. He put a little bit too much force into the tug, and you ended up plowing straight into his chest. He grabbed your chin. “I will not turn into a problem you solve with magic.” His lips slammed against your own, and for a moment your noses were awkwardly crushed together. He pulled away slightly to readjust, and then he was kissing you again.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back. You had no idea what was going on, but you were going to take advantage of this moment.

He finally pulled away, panting slightly, and you tried to pull him back to kiss you again. “Let me walk you home,” he suggested.

“You just don't want me to go visit Anders.”

He frowned. “He is not... safe. I don't think anyone should visit the abomination, but I especially don't want **you** to go visit him.”

You grinned up at him. You were hopeful that maybe, just maybe he returned your feelings. You grabbed his hand and started pulling him toward Hightown. “How about you walk me to your place?”

“You want to go to my place?” Fenris seemed a bit uncertain. “It's not very... I haven't cleaned...”

You stopped and placed your hands on his chest. “We can _improve_ upon Isabela's tale at your place.”

He smirked. “As long as you aren't expecting me to _glisten_.”

“Well, I suppose it's okay if you don't. That just means I'll have to make you sweat a little bit more. Challenge accepted!" You grabbed his arm and began to eagerly tug him toward his place. 

You would probably have to find a way to thank Isabela later.


End file.
